1 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,290 All rise. 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,070 Criminal court part two 3 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,070 is now in session. 4 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,640 The Honorable Hoagy Charmichael 5 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,640 presiding. 6 00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:20,010 Sir, I bombed. 7 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:23,980 That's why God gave us the laugh track. 8 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:28,250 People, be seated. Remember, 9 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:28,250 if you can find a lower fine anywhere... 10 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:30,450 ...you come here 11 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:30,450 and crazy Harry will beat it. 12 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,200 Suck-ups. 13 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,460 - What's first, Mac? 14 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,460 - Paul Hodo, Your Honor. 15 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,370 Assault with a deadly weapon. 16 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,710 Your Honor, my client 17 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,710 is employed by a local firm... 18 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,400 ...that specializes 19 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,400 in novelty entertainment. 20 00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:52,610 How novel? 21 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,940 For a hundred-dollar fee, 22 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,940 one of their field representatives... 23 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,680 ...will throw a pie 24 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,680 at the person of the client's choice. 25 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:01,920 Here's my card. 26 00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:05,330 "In Your Face, Limited." 27 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:08,660 Mr. Hodo walked up 28 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:08,660 to Mr. Anthony Milch... 29 00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:11,700 ...at a cocktail party 30 00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:11,700 for his 25th wedding anniversary, said: 31 00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:13,060 "This is from Mrs. Milch." 32 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,700 And hit him in the face 33 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,700 with a banana cream pie. 34 00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:17,430 That's a deadly weapon? 35 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:20,410 I could have sworn it had thawed. 36 00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:23,240 Aha. 37 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:27,440 Mr. Milch suffered numerous lacerations 38 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:27,440 and a broken nose. 39 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,110 Divorce proceedings are pending. 40 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:34,250 Gee. Can't a guy take a joke? 41 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,790 Two-hundred-dollar fine and time served. 42 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,790 Flo? 43 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:42,200 You'll do better if you charge less. 44 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,420 A hundred bucks is pretty steep. 45 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,830 Florence? 46 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,300 Are you free for dinner? 47 00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:50,200 I got some half-off coupons 48 00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:50,200 for Hot Tub Heaven. 49 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,940 I'm just kidding. 50 00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,780 Hope you didn't get your hopes up. 51 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,820 You take Visa? 52 00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:17,820 - Hey, Mac, you hear something? 53 00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:17,820 - Yeah. 54 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,070 Hey. 55 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,570 It's the shoeshine boy. 56 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,610 Leon. 57 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,680 This boy is out. 58 00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:32,640 Hello. 59 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,050 Hello. 60 00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:40,110 The worst ventriloquist act 61 00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:40,110 I've ever seen. 62 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,100 Oh, the poor baby. 63 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,100 Can we get you anything? 64 00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:32,760 Cup of coffee would be great. 65 00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:36,940 Would you like a cigarette 66 00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:36,940 to go with that? 67 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,610 Any particular reason 68 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,610 why you're sleeping under my bench? 69 00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:43,580 Any particular reason 70 00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:43,580 you were sitting over my bed? 71 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,650 - Mac, go cut me a switch. 72 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,650 - Right. 73 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,820 Okay. 74 00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:50,860 I got in a fight with my parents. 75 00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,460 Finally found out they were coyotes, huh? 76 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,000 Real funny, sludge face. 77 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:02,300 Here's your magazine back. 78 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:02,300 I swiped it from out of your briefcase. 79 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:06,340 "The Bimbos of Brazil." 80 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,150 If you tore out any 81 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,150 of the underwater shots.... 82 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:18,710 Why don't you take our new camper 83 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:18,710 into my office for a few minutes? 84 00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,820 Oh, yeah, sure thing. Come on, Leon. 85 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:23,320 Let's go see if we can find a game 86 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:23,320 to keep us busy. 87 00:04:23,490 --> 00:04:25,930 Five-card draw, jacks or better to open. 88 00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,060 Jacks? I love that game. 89 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:32,790 Gotta warn you, though, 90 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:32,790 I'm pretty tough when I get past twosies. 91 00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:36,370 Will you look at that, Bull, 92 00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:36,370 that is some shot, huh? 93 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:37,840 Yeah. 94 00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:40,810 Palm trees are beautiful, aren't they? 95 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:45,440 Bull, that's 30 naked women 96 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:45,440 playing volleyball. 97 00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:48,880 Oh, yeah. Look at that. 98 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:53,320 Is that a regulation net? 99 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,460 Okay, Leon, show me what you got. 100 00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,360 Full boat. Deuces over kings. 101 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,320 Oh, darn. You win, don't you? 102 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,430 Yes. Take off the dress. 103 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,230 Oh. I thought we were playing for chips. 104 00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:15,840 I already know what chips look like. 105 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,640 Hi, guys. Oh, be careful. 106 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,310 Bet the kid's a shark. 107 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,310 You could lose your shirt. 108 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:24,880 Now you tell me. 109 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,790 So you had it out with the folks, 110 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,790 did you, Leon? 111 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,590 Yeah. This time, it was a doozy. 112 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,850 It could take a while before I go home. 113 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:36,970 How come my dad never treats me 114 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:36,970 like Mr. Cleaver did the Beaver? 115 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:41,260 Yeah, that show scarred a lot of us. 116 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,410 Listen, Leon, we all get into fights... 117 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:47,010 ...but it's not fair 118 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:47,010 to worry your parents that way. 119 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,100 They're probably by the phone now... 120 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,040 ...hoping somebody's gonna call, 121 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,040 tell them that their kid's okay. 122 00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:54,080 Give me their number and I'll ring them. 123 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,340 - No can do. 124 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,340 - Thought so. 125 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,720 That's why I asked Mac 126 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,720 to track them down. 127 00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:01,360 - You did? 128 00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:01,360 - Mm-hm. 129 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,320 Yes, Leon, you've met your match. 130 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:06,460 This man has the brain of a 12-year-old. 131 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:11,560 I mean that you think 132 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:11,560 like a 12-year-old, sir. 133 00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:14,930 I mean, you have the ability to think-- 134 00:06:16,670 --> 00:06:18,800 I'll be at my desk. 135 00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:22,640 Now, this is a deposition, Leon. 136 00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:25,080 That's when the witnesses 137 00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:25,080 give their testimony. 138 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:27,940 You smell wonderful. 139 00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:31,490 I had peanut butter for lunch. 140 00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,110 What's next? 141 00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:36,880 Some drunk. They're trying to pump him 142 00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:36,880 with some coffee. 143 00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:41,390 Should have showed him some snapshots 144 00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:41,390 of your family. That ought to sober him up. 145 00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:49,330 - That's pretty funny. 146 00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:49,330 - Yeah. 147 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:53,070 By the way, what's your favorite flavor? 148 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:56,000 Chocolate. 149 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,910 God, I was hoping you'd say that. 150 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,840 Excuse me. One side, please. 151 00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:09,780 - Hey, Art. 152 00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:09,780 - Yo. 153 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,220 - You mind stepping over here for a second? 154 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,220 - You bet. 155 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,560 I wonder what he wants. 156 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,770 Art, Art, Art. Dear, dear Art, 157 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,770 please don't think I'm trying to pry... 158 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,000 ...but what the hell are you doing? 159 00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:25,270 I've got a work order here 160 00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:25,270 to fumigate the entire building. 161 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,930 We got a problem with termites. 162 00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:28,700 How big a problem? 163 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:44,490 I'll-- 164 00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:46,590 I'll have to get back to you, Mac. 165 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,690 I understand. 166 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:56,640 I think I'd better mosey on up to 19. 167 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,600 Oh, my God, where's Leon? 168 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:02,770 I saw him outside in the hall. 169 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:02,770 He was running into the elevator. 170 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,540 Oh, no. 171 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,540 What are we gonna tell his parents now? 172 00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:07,980 I wouldn't worry about that. 173 00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:07,980 He doesn't have any. 174 00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,280 What? 175 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:14,010 The guy who just dropped in 176 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:14,010 is from Juvenile Services. 177 00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:18,460 He said the kid's an orphan. He's been 178 00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:18,460 living on the streets for two months now. 179 00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,690 You're new here, aren't you? 180 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:33,900 Yeah. Yeah, all right. Thank you. 181 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:33,900 No one has seen the kid leave the building. 182 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,840 - Yeah. 183 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,840 - Your Honor... 184 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,910 ...this is Mrs. Lund of Juvenile Services. 185 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,170 They've got an office up on 19. 186 00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:45,080 That was her assistant that 187 00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:45,080 came crashing through our ceiling. 188 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:48,380 You work in this building? 189 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:48,380 Funny, I've never seen you. 190 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:54,090 Well, to be honest, 191 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:54,090 I was warned to stay away from this floor. 192 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:03,660 Mind you, I have nothing to base that on. 193 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,500 I'm going to go check 194 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,500 the elevator shafts for the kid, sir! 195 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,470 Bull, why are you wearing that thing? 196 00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:14,310 Well, the insecticide 197 00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:14,310 is still pretty heavy in there. 198 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:18,510 Studies indicate that prolonged exposure 199 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:18,510 to those kinds of chemicals... 200 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:22,920 ...can cause permanent damage 201 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:22,920 to active brain cells. 202 00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:29,020 Right. 203 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,160 Perhaps I'd better be going myself. 204 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,670 Before you go, Mrs. Lund... 205 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,870 ...perhaps you could fill us in a little 206 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,870 on Leon's background. 207 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,100 Oh, yes. Well, according to our records... 208 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,680 ...he's been living in foster homes 209 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,680 since he was 3. 210 00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:47,370 Twelve homes, to be exact. 211 00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:49,610 He started running away when he was 6. 212 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,110 Well, a foster home is temporary, right? 213 00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:55,950 Oh, yes. You see, 214 00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:55,950 the problem is that with the older children... 215 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,220 ...it's much more difficult to find them 216 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,220 a permanent adoptive home. 217 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,190 With Leon's record.... 218 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,830 Well, we're doing our best. 219 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,560 Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you are. 220 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,540 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 221 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,070 Thank God no one was hurt. 222 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,470 Art, wait, hey. 223 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,140 We're busy here. 224 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,140 You wanna pick this up later? 225 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,840 We're on red alert. 226 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,040 Really? 227 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,250 I only wish 228 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,250 we could have saved your desk. 229 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,780 Oh, my dear Lord. 230 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,320 I'll be out of here in a second, folks. 231 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,190 Then I gotta go to the roof, 232 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,190 take down an antenna. 233 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:36,730 Take down an antenna? 234 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:39,930 Yeah, somebody rigged up an antenna 235 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:39,930 right next to the flagpole. 236 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,630 I guess they don't wanna miss 237 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,630 their favorite TV shows. 238 00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:48,540 - Like Leave It to Beaver? 239 00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:48,540 - I'm right with you. 240 00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:51,610 Come on, Art. Let's follow that wire. 241 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,510 Yeah, look, here it goes. 242 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,740 Right along the wall. 243 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,020 Makes a turn here. 244 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,790 Then it goes right around that. 245 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,750 - Look out! 246 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,750 What? 247 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,590 Ugh! I missed it. 248 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:14,130 - Termites? 249 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:14,130 - Alligator. 250 00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:18,410 Hey, Art, do you hear something? 251 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,300 Sounds like... 252 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,310 ...noise. 253 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,900 It's an audio daily double. 254 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,910 Bet the farm, meathead. 255 00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:30,440 Hey, Leon. 256 00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:33,650 What are you doing here? 257 00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,150 How did you find me? 258 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,620 We followed your antenna wire 259 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,620 down from the roof. 260 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,660 Nice place. 261 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:45,430 Furnace, generator. 262 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,320 Soot. 263 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:51,030 It's like a janitor's heaven. 264 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,610 Art, we can find our way out. 265 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,340 Right, sir. 266 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,180 What's his problem? 267 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:00,880 I was about to ask you the same thing. 268 00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,580 Me? 269 00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:04,410 I got no problem. 270 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,920 I got everything a man could ask for. 271 00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:12,580 My own TV, video cassette recorder, 272 00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:12,580 Mr. Coffee. 273 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,020 - Leon-- 274 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,020 - If you think any of this stuff is stolen... 275 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,220 ...I've got receipts. 276 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,100 Oh, yeah. Well, I've got your case file 277 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,100 from juvenile hall. 278 00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:22,640 I guess we're even, huh? 279 00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,740 You gonna ask me to sit down? 280 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,170 Why not? 281 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,980 Make yourself at home. 282 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,380 For some of us, 283 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,380 that's easier said than done, huh? 284 00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:36,920 What's that supposed to mean? 285 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,850 It means that you apparently have made 286 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,850 a hobby out of changing addresses. 287 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,850 I talked to that lady who handles your case 288 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,850 for Juvenile. 289 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:48,060 She says you run away a lot, 290 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:48,060 so I'm wondering why. 291 00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:49,360 Hey. 292 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:54,300 Do you see me coming into your home 293 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:54,300 asking you personal questions? 294 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,700 This ain't a home, Leon. 295 00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:59,500 A home has windows and doors. 296 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:01,610 There's people that care about you. 297 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,340 Or at least they try to. 298 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:06,280 And I don't think that 299 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:06,280 you are giving those people a chance. 300 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:09,710 You really think any of those foster people 301 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:09,710 cared about me? 302 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,880 Yeah. 303 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,880 In fact, I would guess that they all did. 304 00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,580 Then why didn't they keep me? 305 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,490 Why didn't they sign the paper 306 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,490 that made me their son? 307 00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:20,860 Why did I keep coming home 308 00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:20,860 from school... 309 00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:24,020 ...and find my suitcase packed 310 00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:24,020 by their front doors? 311 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,130 Leon, you know that 312 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,130 a foster home is temporary. 313 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:31,300 It's a place that you go until the folks come 314 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:31,300 who are gonna adopt you permanently. 315 00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:32,960 Yeah. 316 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,700 Well, it's been 12 years. 317 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,250 How come nobody has come 318 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,250 to claim this little bundle of joy yet? 319 00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:41,110 Because.... 320 00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:49,020 I don't know. 321 00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:50,920 Yeah, well, I do. 322 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:53,760 Hey, don't you get it, Stone? 323 00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:55,730 This is the end of the line. 324 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,560 Nobody is gonna adopt me. 325 00:13:57,730 --> 00:14:01,330 They want babies, 326 00:13:57,730 --> 00:14:01,330 or haven't you heard? 327 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,490 They want diapers to change. 328 00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:06,700 They want cribs with cute little blankets. 329 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,240 They want snapshots of your first steps. 330 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,910 I'm 12 years old. 331 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,910 That's middle age in the adoption game. 332 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,540 And don't bother telling me I'm not, 333 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,540 because it's just talk. 334 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,590 I've heard it from that lady upstairs... 335 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:22,520 ...and I've heard it from half a dozen people 336 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:22,520 just like her. 337 00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:25,660 And I sure as heck 338 00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:25,660 don't wanna hear it from you. 339 00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:35,230 Now the Beaver has gotta move too. 340 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:49,180 Of course, all I ever heard about this floor 341 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:49,180 were only rumors. 342 00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,650 Still no sign of him! 343 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,390 Thanks for the update. 344 00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,160 Okay, call off the bloodhounds. 345 00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,350 Leon. 346 00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,000 Lady, if you're from the state, 347 00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,000 I'm ready to roll. 348 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,630 You and me both, Leon. 349 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:09,130 Oh, look. The monogrammed 350 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:09,130 rubber sheets are on sale. 351 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:12,470 Let's go. 352 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,370 Wait a minute. 353 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,570 What's gonna happen to him? 354 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,570 Where is he gonna go? 355 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,920 Because of his record, 356 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,920 Leon has been reclassified as incorrigible. 357 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,390 - And? 358 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,390 - And instead of another foster home... 359 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:30,080 ...he'll go to a group shelter 360 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:30,080 until we can find him adoptive parents. 361 00:15:30,490 --> 00:15:32,220 Meaning I'm there till I'm dead. 362 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,450 Now, that's not necessarily true, Leon. 363 00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:35,960 Oh, yeah, right. 364 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,500 There's an off chance 365 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,500 that Peter Pan will fly in... 366 00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:40,600 ...and carry me off to Never Neverland. 367 00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:42,200 Or I will. 368 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,700 Say what? 369 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,450 Could I keep him? 370 00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,550 You mean in a jar, of course. 371 00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:59,550 In my home. 372 00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:02,080 Could I be his foster parent? 373 00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,220 You want me to move in with you? 374 00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:07,950 Yeah. 375 00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:09,220 Yeah, I do. 376 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,990 Why? 377 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:18,440 Because of an old saying 378 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:18,440 that Leon reminded me of. 379 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,640 Put up or shut up. 380 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,570 It's a very generous offer, Judge Stone. 381 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,910 But you realize 382 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,910 it may be quite some time... 383 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,420 ...before we find a 384 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,420 permanent adoptive home for Leon. 385 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,890 Hey, thanks for bringing that up. 386 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,120 Mrs. Lund... 387 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,290 ...I want Leon for as long as it takes. 388 00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:43,260 I will enjoy him while he's there. 389 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,130 And I will miss him when he's gone. 390 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,240 What do you say, huh? 391 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,770 I mean, we've always gotten along, 392 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,770 right? 393 00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:58,970 And I've always wanted a son. 394 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:06,050 Most of all, of course, I've always wanted 395 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:06,050 a video cassette recorder. 396 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,890 Oh, that is so beautiful. 397 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:22,530 Just out of the blue reaching out 398 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:22,530 to touch someone's life like that. 399 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,300 Harry must feel very fulfilled. 400 00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:27,370 I'm sure he does. 401 00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:30,510 That's probably why 402 00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:30,510 he doesn't mind the snot. 403 00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:36,540 I think I ruined your shirt. 404 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,120 It's okay. Just don't make me look. 405 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,290 Mrs. Lund. 406 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,520 This certainly is an unusual request. 407 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:52,530 But then again, 408 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:52,530 you are a municipal court judge. 409 00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:57,030 Presumably a stable, 410 00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:57,030 responsible member of the community. 411 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,970 Your sneakers match. 412 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,770 You're lucky she caught you 413 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,770 on a good night. 414 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,410 I'm gonna go and talk to my supervisor. 415 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,390 I'm positive that 416 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,390 we can arrange something. 417 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:17,490 All right. 418 00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:20,360 Congratulations. 419 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,230 Well, I'll be. 420 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,490 Congratulations, sir. 421 00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,460 Thank you. Thank you. 422 00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:30,630 Congratulations for what? 423 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,470 Harry is gonna be a father. 424 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,970 Hey, how about that. 425 00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:37,910 Anybody you know? 426 00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:42,510 Well, he's taking in Leon, Flo. 427 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,550 Yeah, we all drew straws. Harry lost. 428 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,950 Soon. 429 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,620 Very soon. 430 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:56,060 - Congratulations, sir. 431 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:56,060 Thank you, guys. 432 00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:57,760 Good luck, sir. 433 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:01,560 Sir, I.... 434 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,570 I.... 435 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:17,680 When she gets emotional, 436 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:17,680 she only knows one vowel. 437 00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:21,910 Thanks, Harry. Thanks a lot. 438 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,650 You're welcome. 439 00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:25,730 But now, we gotta have a deal, Leon. 440 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:28,560 There's no more tricks. 441 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:28,560 There's no running away. 442 00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,090 Deal. 443 00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:34,830 We're out of here. 444 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,730 Harry... 445 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,330 ...I know this is gonna sound stupid 446 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,330 and all... 447 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,210 ...but tonight, 448 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,210 could you read me a bedtime story? 449 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,770 That doesn't sound stupid at all, Leon. 450 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,770 I would love to. 451 00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:49,470 Great. 452 00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:52,090 I'm up to chapter six. 453 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,290 "Cocktail Waitresses From Hell." 454 00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:01,420 All right, let's make that a $50 fine 455 00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:01,420 and time served. 456 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,090 That's a wrap, people. 457 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,290 Sorry, Mac. 458 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,830 It's like being in a Moroccan restaurant. 459 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,570 - Dan Fielding? 460 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,570 - Yes, and you are? 461 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,510 Nancy Hines from Records. 462 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,440 I have some data for you. 463 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:22,950 Toss it in there, please. 464 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:26,490 Sorry, I was asked to toss it up here. 465 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:43,590 It's from a friend. 466 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:02,050 It was one of you, wasn't it? 467 00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:06,060 And it was worth every penny. 468 00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:13,230 Flo, that is very nice, 469 00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:13,230 but you don't have to cover for me. 470 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,700 I called them, Dan. 471 00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:17,530 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 472 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,970 You don't have to cover for me. 473 00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:21,610 I was the one that called them. 474 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,940 Uh-uh. Uh-uh. 475 00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:28,840 It was me. 476 00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:31,880 You want the truth? 477 00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:34,920 It was all of you. 478 00:21:35,490 --> 00:21:36,580 It was? 479 00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:40,760 I knew you couldn't resist it. 480 00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:45,920 I knew you would want me. 481 00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:45,920 I made a deal with the guy out in the hall. 482 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:50,060 I said if he took the money, just for one hit, 483 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:50,060 and gave me the rest... 484 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,260 ...I wouldn't sue him. 485 00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:54,470 You knew we all called? 486 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,200 Yes, I knew. 487 00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:57,540 You hate me. 488 00:21:57,710 --> 00:22:00,340 You all hate me. Everybody hates me. 489 00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:08,010 For the first time in my life, 490 00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:08,010 I'm taking advantage of being me. 491 00:22:09,590 --> 00:22:14,150 You allowed yourself to be humiliated 492 00:22:09,590 --> 00:22:14,150 for a few hundred dollars? 493 00:22:14,330 --> 00:22:15,730 Are you crazy? 494 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:20,060 He'd French kiss a buffalo 495 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:20,060 for a few hundred dollars. 496 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:28,140 Now, if you'll excuse me, 497 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:28,140 there's a suede jacket... 498 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:33,000 ...at Brooks Brothers 499 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:33,000 with my name all over it. 500 00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:37,640 I'll come by tomorrow 501 00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:37,640 and rub the sleeves in your faces. 502 00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:47,690 Well, folks, that is a $400 pie, 503 00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:47,690 might as well eat it while it's still fresh. 504 00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:50,160 Hey, the pie came. 505 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:52,560 Listen, sir. 506 00:22:52,730 --> 00:22:55,760 I thought it over and I feel badly about it. 507 00:22:52,730 --> 00:22:55,760 I really do. 508 00:22:55,940 --> 00:22:57,030 Well, that's okay, Bull. 509 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,230 Dan ended up getting the best 510 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,230 of all of us. 511 00:22:59,410 --> 00:23:00,740 Dan? 512 00:23:00,910 --> 00:23:02,380 I didn't order it for Dan. 513 00:23:02,540 --> 00:23:04,670 - Judge Stone? 514 00:23:02,540 --> 00:23:04,670 - Yo. 515 00:23:06,710 --> 00:23:08,480 From a friend. 516 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,550 I'm in deep doggy doo, aren't I?